Calling On You
by The Light of Everything
Summary: Where does Darren's heart lay now, after the last breath of his mentor has passed? --- Updates every week, all kinds of pairings. Roll your eyes now, it's slash!


**Name: **Calling on You (Incomplete Series)

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own any of Darren Shan's characters, or anything about them. xD Sorry!

**Warning: **Slash. Yaoi. Boy x Boy.. and violence. Twist of plot, crazed lunatics, and .. other stuff.

**Note: **I hope you guys enjoy. Read and review, I promise updates!

**Description: **Where does Darren's heart lay now, after the last breath of his mentor has passed?

**Pairings: **All KINDS. Darren x Steve, Darren x MANY PEOPLE.

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**Another thing:** I also will post this, and many more, on my livejournal. I have all kinds of fanfiction there, and will definitely not hold back on mature content there. I do not wish to be banned, but if that's what happens, you can find me on livejournal. Under my fanfiction profile is the link. I hope you all enjoy my stories! Eventually I'll be posting some of my own novel.

There would be a silent whisper on my lips, leaving faintly above the lines of pen that I had inked in over the entry of my diary. I could not form words to explain what had happened, a mere sentence of incoherent jumbles of thought stuck out on the page..but nothing made sense. I had stopped after today, leaving a period to close the events that occurred. Something gut-wrenching about the way the blank page stared back at me left me weary eyed, staring blankly at it. It pained me to see such a void..

There is nothing but silence now.

The awkward hesitation of my fingers almost caused my grip to loosen on the pen, but I held it steady, and realized then...I was just as empty as the page I had left, broken, neglected, without a word to trace its paper lips. Breath caught in my throat.

I feel lost when you're not at my side.

The pen's tip was shaking when my hand sketched over the lines, obstructing the order of paragraphs and invisible words, paying no mind to the grind of my pen as the pace was quickened half-heartedly by an emotion that twisted my face into a pained expression.

Rest your head, and go to sleep.

I hadn't even realized I had been crying, not until the beads had left my face and danced against the page I stared down at. Mr. Crepsley's face stared back at me, the best sketch I could muster of him tugging at the heart string I knew shouldn't be tampered with. And yet, while I stared at the drawing, I couldn't help but to moan with absolute sorrow. I put my head down into my arms and sobbed that night. Openly loud, gasping sobs that drained the energy right out of me.

I missed him more than any diary words or drawings could ever explain.

Whoever said crying was okay was a liar. It hurt, it made me feel vulnerable, weak, dumb and stupid. It left my eyes to be as red as a vampanezes' and my face wet and stained with the rivets that coursed over my cheeks. It left me breathless and gasping for something I couldn't ever see again, be close to again, feel or hear or touch again. If I could, just one more time, have those arms around me, hugging me, encouraging me, protecting me..

I would have given anything. Anything to see him again. My mentor, my friend, my night father.. I would have traded anything, anything at all..

My vulnerability hadn't gone unnoticed, and in mere seconds of my weakened state, they had flocked. At first I wasn't sure if it was Harkat trying to come to comfort me, or a vampaneze who had picked up on my scent and stalked me, masked by the hysterics of my water works. I would have been shocked to see the blonde sitting on the window pane across the hotel room, had I not been in the state I was in. Anyone could have walked into the room, vampaneze, or a giant unicorn, and I wouldn't have cared.

His voice rang through my head, whispered silence against my ear. 'Darren, it's okay..'

I could feel the welling of tears, beginning to form at the corners of my eyes yet again. They threatened to blur my vision, to fall against the diary and desk I sat at. I could feel the rage eating away at my heart.. I could feel.. 'Darren.. it's okay. Someday.. '

My head turned, a new wave of hot tears moving to follow suit of their dried counterparts, down my chin and against my lap. Through the blurred heat I saw him, grinning stupidly when he saw my tears.

"Darren, are you crying?" He asked, faking a sincerity I wish I would have ripped right out of his throat.

"..If you don't leave.." I warned, my tone surprisingly more hurt than I had expected.

"What, too soon?" Steve sneered, standing from the pane and shut the window behind him. He took two steps before stopping a few feet from me. "Aww, writing in your little diary? Isn't that what girls do? Writing about Creepy Crepsley, huh? Did you also write about the way he wriggled on the stakes?" I could hear the eagerness in his voice.. eager to break me.

"..Get the hell out. " I had to control myself.. I had to stop the boiling anger that was proceeding to make my heart hammer in my chest, my fingers flex into fists, my body to tremble..

"What, no one to comfort you anymore, Darren?" He cooed mockingly.

That did it. I stood, racing toward him with the pen clutched in my hand. If I had squeezed it any tighter, it probably would have snapped in two. I could barely make out the blonde silhouette between the rush of tears that painted my eyes. "Shut up! Shut up! Why did you do it!? It wasn't fair! I was suppose to fight you! Me! I was suppose to die!.. I couldn't save him.. I.. couldn't save anyone.. "

He was faster, calmer, more collected than I was. He side stepped me and grabbed my wrist, twisting my arm behind the small of my back and wrapped his free arm around my neck, pinning me against him. I could feel the beat of his heart against my back, could almost feel the snicker and the glisten in his eyes as they burned against the back of my head. He jeered at me. "..That's right, Darren. You couldn't. You couldn't save him, Annie, Debbie, Sam.. you couldn't save anyone. " He was encouraging the demons in me.. and it was working.

"Let me go!" I don't know why I didn't put up more of a fight. Maybe it was because the lack of energy crying had left me with, maybe it was the memory of Larten that made my knees weak and unable to hold their own. I fell to my knees, Steve followed suit and knelt behind me, arms still locking me against him. "..Just leave me alone..I don't care anymore. Vampires, Vampaneze, War of the Scars, You.. I don't care. Just leave me alone.. " There was desperation on my lips, a tone I barely recognized. My voice was wavering, staggering against the forearm that pressed against my neck.

"..Darren. That wouldn't be any fun now, would it? I've told you before.. " I felt lips to my ear, murmuring faintly against the contours of my outer ear. "I'm going to break you. And first, I'll start with your waist." He was menacing..diabolical..but I was worse. Here, begging him to release me, and at the same time.. feeling something short of relief when he brandished a knife and pressed it against my stomach. At least now, I could be at peace. I could be freed from the pained look on Mr. Crepsley's face when he fell.. the sound he made.. the cry.. the painful silence..

"Darren." Steve snapped at me, the knife threatening at my skin. It was cold, and he had cut my shirt open.

"Get on with it. " I snarled. That surprised him, his arms tightening on my neck and wrist, like he was going to break them. "A-ah.." I hissed. His face lit up, his hands moving to grab both wrists and twist them both against the small of my back. What was he doing? Before I knew it, he was using his hands on my wrists and his weight to throw me forward, slam my chest into the ground. Breath left me, and instinctively I writhed, moving my knees as I aimed to kick the living shit out of him, grab the knife, turn onto my back..and..

I wasn't able to do that, despite what my mind screamed. My arms were pinned now between my back and his stomach, freeing his own arms as they wrapped around my middle and pinned against my chest and stomach. One of his hands moved to my neck, wrapped fingers against my windpipe, began to squeeze. I gasped, anger flooding all ounces of my body. My body bucked wildly, trying as hard as I could in this weak state to throw him completely off me. His hips pinned me down, his arms tightening.

"G-get off!" I screamed, only quickly silenced by a hand that pressed over my mouth. In that moment that he had lifted his hand away from my body, I half turned, pushing against him with my weight. For a moment he didn't realize what he had done, and the second he did, he was too late. I was twisting out from beneath him, kicking at him, throwing wild, blind punches in the direction of his chest and face. I was completely enraged, losing myself in the very rage that Mr. Crepsley had dared me not to tango with. And here, in spite of all shared between us, I was screaming and kicking.. getting a good kick to Steve's face in.

His head twisted with a sickening crunch, and he reeled off me like a bat out of hell. (No pun intended). However he spun and clutched the carpet, only giving me enough time to scrabble for the knife he had dropped and twist my body onto my back before he was on me again, fingers on my ankle, pulling me down beneath his body. I raised the knife, using the muscles in my legs and stomach to propel me forward and aimed for his shoulder. I don't know why I didn't aim for his heart..

The luck of the vampires was with me then, driving the blade into his shoulder. He screamed in agony, reaching to his shoulder and grabbed the hilt. That's when I knew my luck had run out. The twisted grin on his features blossomed into much more when he pulled another knife out from his sock.. it must have been strapped to his ankle..

"You.. I have waited so long for this.. " He whispered, almost regretfully, sighing when he saw my lack of interest in what he had to say. He rolled his eyes, sitting painfully on my waist. I could have bucked at him, thrown him off, reached for the knives and..

I felt pain searing into my arm, making every nerve tingle with pain and every fiber of my being to scream out. But when my mouth fell open to do just that, nothing came out. Turning my head just enough to see the knife's hilt sticking out of the palm of my hand, I groaned in agony. I threw my chest up against all rationality of what my mind screamed.. only pulling at the knife then. This time, I screamed. Steve sneered and raised his other arm..

"Ahh!" Again, pain seared into my other arm, this time numbing both of my appendages as they were pinned, forcefully, to the floor by the knives in either of my palms. Blood pumped freely beneath the jut of the blades, moving down my wrists and pooling beneath the back of my hands.

"See Darren!?" He yelled with delight. "I told you I'd break you! I'd break you! I did it! " He beamed, features contorting with something much, much eager. Leaning over, he went to kiss my nose. Whether he was taunting me, mocking me, or attempting to disgust me.. he had won. I was beyond disgusted. I was completely pissed, rage numbing the pain in my hands..

When his lips came close to my face, I lurched up at him, aiming to bite his lips clean off his face when he grabbed my jaw, tightened his grip, threatened to break the bone with his hold. He tilted my head, examining the look in my eyes. "..There, that's better. This wouldn't have been fun if you hadn't of become completely furious.. I bet Mr. Crepsley would be thrilled, too. "

It made no sense, but it made me even more angry, if that was even possible. Even the slight mention of my passed mentor, at the hands of the one on top of me, churned every bit of me into a raging monster -- eyes glaring, hatefully, at Steve. "Get the fuck off me! Get off! Leave me alone! You bastard! You fucking bastard! Why!? Why him!?" He punched me square in the jaw.

"..To get to you, of course. " His hand turned my jaw then, bloody from where he had punched me in the mouth. His lips pressed against the trail of liquid, lapping at it almost gently. He was advancing, grabbing my knees and pulling them apart, settling himself in between. "I knew, if I had arranged for you to come up to meet your fate, he would have intervened. I also knew he was going to die. And I knew I'd get to you that way.. " He giggled, kissing at my cheek bones now. " I knew that if I got to the one person you almost had feelings for, real feelings for, not like that bitch that follows you around, that I would destroy you. Rage would take over you, bind you to me, and you'd be forever mine, Darren. Just like old times. You and me against the world. "

I had to restrain myself from ripping my hands off the knives and wrapping them around his throat. I grit my teeth, anger ensuing the words I spat at him. "..Go to hell, Leonard." I hacked back and spit at his face.

"Join me there, will you?" He snickered, hand moving to grab my hair and tighten a hold on it. When I spit, he tilted his head, letting it pass him without a care in the world. He moved lower on me, twisting my head to expose more of my neck, which he lavished as soon as he got access to it. Mouth wrapped around my wind pipe, sucking here, kissing there, ravaging my heated skin (from anger) with his sadistic, hateful tongue. I shivered, despite the disgust I felt. I understood now. He was doing this to destroy me, just as he had killed Mr. Crepsley, just as he had ever done anything to hurt me.

I was lost behind the canvas of his eyes, pinpointing the dark intentions that lie just beyond the mixture of eagerness and hate that combined in those grey-blue eyes of his. I shook my head slowly, closed my eyes, willed away the sensation that was beginning to dawn on me.

His hands were exploring, touching, fleeting a kiss every now and then against another inch of my body. I could feel his impatience, and wondered why he was being so gentle now. Maybe that was part of it, to confuse me and leave me with more emotional turmoil than I was already in. I bit down on my tongue, a mistake on my part.

"You're enjoying this, Darren?" Steve glanced up at me, dragging his hands across the panes of my stomach after pushing my shirt up. I violently shook my head, a snarl and scowl on my face.

"Go fuck yourself."

"I'd rather fuck you."

I knew it.

The pain in my arms had returned violently and abruptly, causing a pained expression to cross on my face. Steve must have thought it was due to the soft suckling he was doing on either of my hip bones, and increased his efforts to leave marks against my skin. When he was bored with leaving me marked, he returned to my face, dragging his tongue against my jaw before nipping almost playfully there. I cursed him, he clawed at my stomach, leaving gashes against the skin.

He grabbed either of my knees and lifted them, using his hands to push my weight against me, lifting my legs up and around his waist. He found pleasure in the pain I was feeling, naturally, and it turned him on. He was just as impatient as I was to get this over with.. droning out the inevitable made my heart hurt, made my chest feeling empty and weak. Just about as weak as I felt after crying. Now, looking back on my mistake, I realized I must have looked pitiful..

I snapped back to when a hand moved against my waistband, tugged at my pants, haphazardly trekking them off my hips and just low enough on my thighs to grant him whatever access he hoped to achieve. I was red with anger, but even more so of humiliation and embarrassment. He had aimed to rip me down and beat me into the ground, ruin me in all sorts of ways. He had, undeniably, won. I felt disgusting. I moaned against his hands.

Even more disgusting when, without any kind of mercy, he parted the zipper of his own pants and pressed against me, rubbed himself hard along the soft skin of my inner thigh. I wretched, arching my back, wishing it was over and hoping to the gods that in Paradise, Mr. Crepsley wasn't watching..

He pushed into me.

I screamed.

He sneered wearingly, tossing his hips into mine and crashing against my walls. I felt him there, mercilessly tearing at me, searing pain and heat through my body. The knives in my hands felt like a paper cut compared to the pain that wrecked my pelvis, my knees tightening a hold against his middle. He was pleased, gripping my biceps with sweaty fingers, and bucked into me.

"A-ah!" I couldn't help it, the pain was numbing, replaced by the ever growing, inevitable pleasure that tugged at me from all sides. I couldn't believe I was allowing myself to respond in such a way. I couldn't control the hiccups of gasps that responded to his groans, to his hips, to the grip of his nails into my skin. I whined when lips met mine, locked hard against my mouth.

"D-Darren.. " How dare he say my name as if we were sharing an intimate moment.. how dare he tear me down like this, sink this low, pull all strings of my heart and puncture it with every ounce of malice he could configure. Although I could feel my body becoming naturally accepting of the hips that clashed into me, I could feel my mind beginning to drift off.

Steve grasped my arms harder, brought me back from a sanctuary I had fled to, pinning my lower half against his. I could feel his muscles tighten, churn, and come to a screeching halt as semen exploded against my insides, coating my walls, spasming while he groaned for a final time.

Don't tear me down, what's left of me..

There were no tears, nothing more than a blank void behind my eyes.. and Steve saw it. He grinned, satisfied, and pulled his hips back, pulling out of me, spilling what remained of his seed against my thigh in the process. Moving forward, he kissed my cheek bone and wiped at my hair, moving it out of my face.

If crying made me feel weak, this made me feel boneless. I couldn't move, aside from the knives in my palms, and Steve was not leaving. He stayed. If I could move, if I could scream, if I could just...

"Darren!" He yelled at me as he pulled up his pants, stepping back from me with a scowl. I was sitting up, pulling on my hands, ripping flesh against the blade. I wanted up. I couldn't.. stay here.. like this.."Darren, stop!" He snapped at me. I didn't listen. I pulled at my hands, wrenching the knives against the palms, ripping, tearing.. "Darren!" He yelled as he stepped forward and pulled one of the knives out. His mistake. I turned with my free hand, grabbed the hilt of the other, pulled it out, and slashed at him.

He staggered back, his own knife gripped in his hand. He snarled, eyes narrowing on me and the knife I held. "So this is it, huh? " He smiled, almost sadly. "Here I thought I'd be able to use you again.. such a pity."

"..I'll see you in hell." I smiled, raising the knife above my own heart.

"DARREN!" He yelled, racing forward to..

I slowly looked down, eyes tracing the depth of the blade embedded in my chest. I wheezed, smiled at him, and fell back onto my back. The ceiling was incredibly peaceful, despite the silent screams that Steve was befalling against me. His lips were moving, but nothing came out. I could only hear the faint murmur of my heart beat, the silent, hushed breaths that were coming out in that wheezed, half hearted manner. My eyelids fell heavy over my eyes.. and with as much effort as I could, willed myself to black.

'Wait for me, Mr. Crepsley..'

* * *

I woke up, four days later with Kurda, Vancha, Mika, and Harkat surrounding my bed. With a groan, I cracked my eyelids open.

* * *

"He's awake!" Someone yelled, moving to my side, but in the incredible haze of the light overhead, I couldn't make out who.

**AN: Muwhahah! 3 CLIFFHANGAH.**


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